April 12, 2006

IDOL Ratings Plummet!

Posted By Chris Crosby at 1:03 AM

Why is no one watching AMERICAN IDOL anymore? The lack of Fairbanks' twin! (Or, uh, "Chicken Little.") * 16 comments

16 Comments:

Poor ABC, suffering from a lack of new episodes of NBC shows (Deal or No Deal)

By Anonymous, at 1:21 AM

American Idol started going downhill the day Zachary Travis got the push.

By Anonymous, at 3:36 AM

How can something which was at the bottom of a deep ravine to begin with "go downhill"...?

By Anonymous, at 5:02 AM

OMG Americans are getting smart again! Surely there will be open revolt in the street! The greatest pillars of our oh-so-necessary Media will fall! There will be :GASP: calm, paced debate based on the facts EVERYWHERE! The apocolypse has come! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!1

By Anonymous, at 8:40 AM

I suppose this show has somehow boosted the kereoke sales at the electronics shop I work in. Nice to see the shit moving instead of having to dust it all the time. Oh, and of course I'd like to encourage anyone on that show with any REAL talent, but that's where my compliments end.

Now, who really give a shit about the little weiner kid who looks like a cartoon character? I wish I was still his age so I could punch him in the face, steal his lunch money and stuff him in a locker. Don't they realize that even if they win and get the obligatory CD, it'll just end up in the remainder bin like 'Basic Instinct 2'? Probably not, since we're all such pathetic little attention whores that we all jump in front of the camera/mic the first chance we get. Trust me, you'll have plenty of other unavoidable occasions when you look like an ignorant butt-head during your life, so why add one more? (Yeah, I know I'm putting the gun in my own mouth on that one, so take you best shot and see if the taste blows my mind.)

You know what show I wanna see? The one where Van Halen, Iron Maiden and Led Zepplin drag all of the pathetic little 'my dad hates me and I cut myself' bands of today into a camp and teaches them how to really play a fucking guitar. I'll bet none of them have ever done hard drugs before...

Or better still, a show where whole bands compete for the free record deal. None of these bullshit rappers either; you actually have to be able to play something and not just hold onto your gat or your dick to whole damn time.

...And to that last guy, don't fret; Americans were never that smart to begin with. Unelected, white, land-holding slave owners writing down 'all men are created equal'? Sure, except for whores, niggers and savages, right? Wanna use that authentic, founding-fathers language just to be accurate, too. Never assume that people, ANY people, are at all smart; that would be giving humanity too much credit...

By Anonymous, at 9:56 AM

that dudes a fucking genuis. why the hell isn't he the goddamn president?

By Anonymous, at 10:40 AM

I think People started getting smart of the fakeness of American Idol after Rueben Studard completly flopped. One show down, now can we please get rid of INXS.

By Anonymous, at 2:15 PM

He could have been the President, but apparently his speechwriter was George Carlin.

Or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof, considering he's slightly mis-quoted.

By Anonymous, at 11:37 PM

Wow. That's probably the third most hate-filled thnig I've ever heard. So, skinhead, missing the golden days of rock? So you don't like chicken little; many people like rooting for the litle guy - he was the underdog.

Second - the days of Halen and Zepplin are dead. Welcome to the 21st century. I hate the emo college rawk too, but I don't listen to it. You want a beautiful sound? there are plenty of bands far and away from My Bloody Valentine and AFI that know how to play the guitar (which, by the way, is not the only instrument worth listening to anymore, there are actually competent drumers that aren't strung out on something nowadays).

Third - Why are you talking about the founding fathers? They're all dead, and nobody with half a brain listens to their kind anymore.

If you were president, at least I would take comfort in the fact that I know how I will die: under the cover fire of your SS Troops. I'm sorry that you're stuck 25 years in the past, but leave the kids of today alone. If a loss of the Zepplin sound which you seem to worship so much means that time marches on and my kids never know what a crack binge is, I'd gladly sit through some bland emo ballad.

In short, please OD on some meth/PCP/crack/pipe cleaner and die far away from anyone, you self-absorbed misanthropic skinhead.

By Ahab, at 9:00 AM

Zepplin sucks, American Idol sucks, Emo sucks, College rock sucks, Ahab sucks, mainstream guitarists suck.

Necrophagist will devour your eternal soul with just a guitar, a bass guitar and a drum kit. Thats real music.

And fuck rap. Goddamn dirty niggers and their bling bling. Thats the thing about niggers, give em money and they'll go out and buy the first thing thats geared towards 'em: Diamonds and cars. As for the smart niggers, they get brought down by any nigger without a dime. They are born and bred to be poor, we shoulda kept em as slaves, they'd be happier instead of being forced to live in the projects and bitch about how the white man fucked em up.

The niggers fucked themselves up, they got caught, they became slaves. Don't be mad because your ancestors were inferior.

Know why that ruben fuck off Americon Idol flopped? Cause he was the first male nigger not to hold his nuts during a performance. The white man don't want that, the niggers aren't ready for that.

Fuckin niggers!

By Anonymous, at 5:48 PM

Wow, some heavy crap here today...
First of all, American Idol, Rap, Rock of all ages, generally all of the hype and theater that's ever been put into music, it all sucks sweaty nuts. I look for catchy lyrics and a decent beat myself, and I gotta say, modern rockers do whine an awful lot. Of course music is more business than art these days, anyway, so I don't expect much, either. Secondly, didn't Van Halen just put out another album recently? What about the Rolling Stones? I don't call that dead; life support in the case of the 'Stones, maybe, but not dead.

Yeah, that one post was pretty out there in the hate departement, but luckily I happen to be somewhat framilliar with the works of George Carlin. If he was ripping something of Calrlin's, then he did a bad job, and like Carlin, he wasn't half-serious. As much as I know I should probably believe it, I'd rather not think that anyone is THAT genuinely disgruntled and bitter about such bullshit. He probably just wants some attention and needs a hug...

As for the president comment, sometimes I wonder about the ones currently in office. The scary thing is, I think that there could be more similarities to Cheney than I care to imagine. I know I am going to get comments about that, so all I'll say is that we have no one to blame but ourselves: The people we elect usually reflect the things we hate about ourselves the most. What do you expect when only a quarter of the country votes?

Lastly, don't watch 'reality television'; it'll make you wonder who keeps pissing in the gene pool...

Always assume nothing.
Always question everything.
Always believe in something,
just not me.

- Infamous 370

By Anonymous, at 5:22 AM

Awww, why can't we worship you and build various idols in your name?

By Ahab, at 8:25 AM

Chris, you need to get rid of this blog, its just full of hatred and lunatics asking for cast page updates.

It degrades the comic with all the dregs lurking around. If people were to take it seriously, they can't just click a blog entry and see all this racism.

By Anonymous, at 12:52 AM

You say the bands of today whine a lot?

...what did you all just do now?

By Anonymous, at 7:25 PM

We'd whine to our girlfriends, but most of us don't have any. Also, fuck the cast page, just read the comic; it's easy and it's not like any of us have anything better to do for an hour.

By Anonymous, at 7:23 PM

Racist much?

By Kara, at 8:12 PM