September 1, 2005

New Orleans in ruins! Babies dying of dehydration in the streets of America!

Posted By Chris Crosby at 6:06 PM

Immediately, President Bush jumps into action!

* 18 comments

18 Comments:

Great comedy. As this post and the recent shark strip indicate, you have a superior knack for comic timing.

By Ford Guarino, at 11:33 PM

And when he did decide this required some attention, did he go to NOLA, survey the damage, make inspiring speeches or do any of the other (limited) things an American president can do? Nope, he flew over it and looked down from Air Force One.

At least Congress and the American people are doing what they can, by voting to spend some money, and putting their lives on the line to save others.

Is Cuba offering aid again? Maybe we should take them up on it.

By Crazy Monkey, at 4:16 AM

Wouldn't a fiddle be more appropriate?

By Dorkass McGee, at 6:03 AM

Wow, is there any redneck stereotype that he hasn't been caught perpetuating? Hunting, bass fishing, hanging out at a ranch, and now pretending he can play music. But no, not the fiddle or the guitar, but a banjo would be the appropriate instrument, since what this man has done to his own country and others abroad is similar to what was done to the victims in the movie 'Deliverance.'
In other words, he's got the banjo, and we've got the 'purdy mouth'.

By Anonymous, at 6:26 AM

Y'know, I just don't think there's any other way I could illustrate how incompetent he is before he offers up another glaring example, so I won't say another damn thing. Rather, to generalize, ANY president in his situation with a Watergate-esque approval rating can't afford NOT to pander for support like that. I don't think his sympathy could comfort anyone who just lost their home, though, when he's never gone been cold, hungry, or homeless a day in his life.

Cuba offering aid? Yeah, take it, because if not by hurricane, soaring gas prices already have the rest of the damn country on it's knees. Not only would I say take the aid from wherever it's offered, I'd say start praying, because the president is strumming a guitar while the country is imploding around him. Kind of like the band still playing while the Titanic was sinking. Personally, I would have either grabbed a bucket or an ore by now if I were him... That's how you know that he doesn't really care, because he's more concerned with a cheap photo op when he should be concentrating on helping those people. I just hope he knows that both the band AND the captain went down with that ship...

Always assume nothing.
Always question everything.
Always believe in something,
just not me.

- Infamous 370

By Anonymous, at 7:08 AM

Yes, because the President of the US should be micromanaging the entire operation.

Oh, wait, his job is to manage the people who micromanage.

As dramatic as it would be for the President to don a wetsuit and take a boat through New Orleans, his job entails other responsibilities.

If he has time to pick up a guitar, there's really no problem with it. I, myself, picked up a guitar that day, and my homeland is the one in shambles.

By Anonymous, at 7:18 AM

Hmmm, Bush just landed in Mobile to go to New Orleans via Military Helicopter. Should he pick up a rake and start cleaning up the city too? Presidents set policy, and lead. They don't have time to go to every crisis area within 10 hours or see every grieving mother (for the second time). Do you think he might be a little busy also dealing with the Middle East, or maybe North Korea. How about the lack of refineries creating a gas deficit. I'm sure he's looking into HR25 lately and the fair tax? How's the Darfur region doing and the starving millions in Niger?

By Anonymous, at 8:48 AM

Its true, the pesident's job is not to micromanage.... It's to MANAGE! Something he has failed to do on nearly every occaison.
"Hmm a large US city has been wiped off the Earth... Ah we can give it five days.... We'll send in the National Guard... oh wait, we can't!
Well at least the preserved wetlands will protect us somewhat... Oh wait we didn't protect any! D'oh!
Oh well guess I better just fly overhead in my 747 and see whats up.... "

By Anonymous, at 9:16 AM

My point was that while he was posing for the photo or video or whatever, there are other things he should have been doing. I don't actually expect him to dive into the water to save someone, especially since he strikes me as someone that would drown in the bathtub. He cares more about what others think of him than actually doing his job. Why else would he stop to do that with the next Atlantis is taking shape down there?

One job done right by him and his administration would be better than a thousand cheap photo ops in terms of raising his sagging approval rating. But no, he'd rather just have his own people think he's doing a good job instead of using that time to actually do him damn job at a time like this.

The man is completely full of shit, and it disgusts me to think that as obvious as it was during his first term, he was re-elected by around three million votes. Why? Well, it seems that the majority of Americans would rather an abhorrent, senseless piece of shit as leader instead of a 'flip-flopper'. It's getting real old real fast, and so is the transparency of his administration, who would rather use circle logic, misdirection, distraction, deception and repetition than actually give an honest answer to a question.

But whatever, the '04 election showed that the majority of people in his country would rather pretend that problems don't exist than actually adress them. Lie to me, baby, and it'll be beautiful tonight... Of course we all know that we eventually have to wake up sometime...

Always assume nothing.
Always question everything.
Always believe in something,
just not me.

- Infamous 370

By Anonymous, at 9:36 AM

You don't have to wake up if you die in your sleep. And the majority of the voters are not the majority of the Americans. If there was a party for "We Don't Care", and if they by default got one vote for every person who didn't vote, they'd win the election and could put their President of Apathy in the White House.

By RGE, at 10:16 AM

RGE has a point. Bush didn't WIN. Kerry just lost. he was the most pathetic candidate presented at the democratic primaries. The Democratic party, for some reason, hates howard dean, and crushed any chances he had. I'm a libertarian, i lean right, and i would have voted for almost any of the other democrat candidates had they won the primary. lieberman, clark, maybe dean, shit, i'da voted for SHARPTON (mostly because he wouldn't have accomplished anything). as it stands, i voted for a third party candidate. but the '04 election really shows us the idiocy of attempting to get someone elected simply because they are not someone else. If they really wanted bush out of the white house, maybe they should have stopped talking about bush, and talked a little bit about john kerry.

By Sean, at 5:07 PM

WHOA!
That's funny.
Look at that. If anyone here has taken any sort of guitar classes at all, they'll know...
He's doing the G chord. He's doing the G chord the EASY way, (he's supposed to use his pinky and ring finger on both the 1st and 2nd strings on the 3rd fret) and he's on a fret up. He's supposed to be on the 3rd, but he's on the 4rth.
He's doing it completely wrong. Well.. I thought it was funny, anyway...

By Frooh, at 3:13 AM

Yup, apathy is the next big thing, and it's here to stay like reality television and the next inevitable wave of the future, four dollar gas. Last I checked, there were about a half-billion people in America, so there's obviously a LOT of people who felt there was no competent candidate with a chance in Hell of winning the last time. Hey, at least take an hour of your time to vote for a longshot, or at least try to hold your candidate accountable for his bullshit, please? Even if your guy lost, it doesn't make you powerless. It's supposed to be the people's job to tell their leader what to do, even if you didn't vote for him, and since when is America known for rolling over and taking it like a prison bitch? No wonder all of the third-world nutbars are acting-up lately...

By Anonymous, at 6:38 PM

I think G W Bush has his knickers in such a twist over terrorism, he just clean forgot about the possibility of a natural disaster. And with all his troops in Iraq, being rude to the locals and occasionally shooting at our boys {sent in, against the will of the British public, by Bush's obedient lap-dog Tony Blair} he couldn't even get the army in to organise things.

In the UK we probably be too smart to build a city in a basin below sea level in the first place -- but if we did, you can bet we would have contingency plans in place.

New Orleans probably will be in a worse state when the floodwaters subside than New York was after 11/9/2001.

And GWB's kind of people most probably still won't get this when some little country he previously wrote off as "third world" is running on 100% biomass as the USA carries on with pissing off every other country in the world for the last remaining drops of petroleum oil.

By Anonymous, at 1:54 AM

Bush should die, he is a terrible president

By Tiffany, at 9:42 PM

Okay, I just read that it took a few hundred or so Canadian troops and a couple of ships packed with supplies four days after Katrina to get there and start helping out. This should make the sluggish response by the federal gouvernment all the more apparent, since they got there from Halifax, Nova Scotia before U.S troops were even organized in the region. Oh, and this is far worse than 9/11, in that not only is there much more widespread devastation, but more than twice the loss of life with the body count still rising.

Yeah, New Orleans is basically a giant sink-hole, but hopefully they'll take that into consideration during reconstruction. Maybe building hospitals, schools, powerplants and other important infrastructure futher inland in the future would be a nice idea? Oh, and it'd be nice if Canada got more than a nice 'thank-you' note this time, since they helped us out again even though we don't get along so well lately. I know courtesy isn't really a part of U.S foreign policy, but maybe an exeception should be made in their case, hm?

Still, I'm glad to know that about half of the water has been drained already, and I hope the clean-up and reconstruction doesn't take too long for the sake of the evacuees.

- Infamous 370

By Anonymous, at 7:40 AM

God, this would be fucked-up...
"Row, row, row your boat..."

By Anonymous, at 9:31 PM

an unfortunate affair, attrocious handleing of foriegn policy aside ~bush vertually undid 20 years of reconstructive talk with my own country new zealand, due to our nuke free policy.. (whatever happened to non-proliferation?)~ this has all the markings of an almost comic tragidy of grecian threator proportions.. our lowest point is at leat at sealevel and most of our cities are above sealevel surrounded by mountains and cliffs, yet even we seem to be more and better prepared for flooding.. (yet we have more to fear from earthquakes as the worlds largest faultline runs straight through the south island)

By Anonymous, at 4:23 AM