, at
7:46 AM
Welcome to capitalist America; get used to being raped in the ass if you ever want to buy anything.
By , at
7:46 AM
...never seen a single Star Wars in my life, so this is probably a lot funnier than I think it is... But then, I find it funny that millions of people would willingly allow themselves to be thrice violated in such a manner. Kind of like the 2000 and 2004 elections...
By , at
8:03 AM
Wish I could find the lyrics. I guess... he DID rape my childhood, the bastard.
By , at
8:54 PM
I'm an Englishman, and an optimist. Get the hell over yourselves! As a Creator of stories myself, I believe creators have ultimate power over their universes. Lucas can do what he wants with Star Wars, And if all you care about is looking at the FUCKING Curtains, then all you deserve is the reality bullshit that warps your insignificant litte excuses for minds.
I saw the story. Yes, Ep I was a big fat kids' movie. Yes, Ep II was a little disappointing. But Ep III was a PROPER Star Wars Movie and anyone who Disagrees is WRONG!
And Hayden Christensen? All I'm saying is, he could've been a Lot worse!
Such is the opinion of the All-Seeing Englishman!
By , at
4:22 AM
Man the things people say when they can be anonymous eh ? Hehe, well the first three Star wars were a horrible dissapointment .
With a capital "."
By , at
4:57 AM
I wonder how long you people will bellyache and whine and whimper...
Seriously, first of all: you are pretty naive if you fell for the 'The Middle Trilogy Was All We Could Make in 1977'. Technical resources, my ass. Lucas knew the first trilogy was not nearly as good as the middle one. The whole first trilogy is a set-up for the middle one. Helloooo? Its freaking flashback.
Maybe what bothers you bellyachers is that you expected Anakin to be a brave freaking superman who was tortured and crap to become vader. And boo hoo, Anakin is a bellyacher just like you are being. A useless maricón as our mexican pals would say, who screwed up the GALAXY because of Padmé. No, kiddies, screwing up the Galaxy over the sick maniacal obsession you call love is not romantic. Its retarded. Boo hoo, Darth Vader is a sissy whimpering hissy-fitting LOSER! He was useless, so he blames everything. He blames the Jedi, the Jedi Code, the sith, the weather, his horoscope... he blames everything and everyone. But not himself. He is the Chosen, so he must be right... bullshit.
If I were Obi-Wan, I would have kicked him into the lava. If I were Lucas, I would have changed the scene so Obi-Wan kicked him in the lava, and added a disclaimer to the end of the movie: "This was a FUCK YOU to all the pro bitching people who think they are the center of the universe."
You want a movie to perfectly kiss your ass and pet your ego? Make one yourself, and stop pointing fingers.
Losers.
Try something like this: watch the movies in the right order. I think Lucas hoped people would get this, but he forgot pro bellyachers are retarded and self-centered:
- Episode IV (A New Hope);
- Episode V (Empire Strikes Back);
*** Start Flashback Sequence ***
- Episode I (Phantom Menace)
- Episode II (Clone Wars, and the Clone Wars short animated movies next if you can);
- Episode III (Revenge of the Sith);
-Episode VI (Return of Jedi).
That way you might realize darth Vader is not the Ultimate Badass and everybody in the movies is still basically human. Or rather, 'a mortal being, with flaws and qualities, with feelings and self-doubts', not a cardboard clichè.
By , at
5:05 AM
The lyrics are marginally amusing, but really, people. They're movies, folks, just movies. Lucas did them how he felt they should be done, no more no less. You may disagree with his vision (lord knows I do), but they are simply entertainment. He didn't 'rape' anyone's childhood. If anyone was literally traumatized by Greedo shooting first*,then they have far more serious issues of their own to work on before blaming their problems on some Hollywood moviemakers. So let's not give these sorts of things omniscient powers over us, hmm? They are just movies.
Steve M
* and yeah, I too thought that was a pretty weak alteration that was completely contrary to Han's presented character. But it's not like I'm going to be spending hours on a therapist's couch because of it.
By , at
11:19 AM
Yep. Vader is not the ultimate badass. He's just some guy that can force choke people and hack them to bits. Being obsessed over Vader is the same thing as being a Sephiroth junkie, or even a diehard follower of some DBZ character. Sort of.
People like Vader (and Sephy, and blah blah blah) because he displays a large amount of power compared to everyone else in the area, which is sort of what supervillians are supposed to do, unless you're one of those "thinker" super villians that just come up with some ingenious plot.
Also, the song says something about Sci Fi movies. I can't understand the vast majority of what he says, but my speakers are kinda weird. But Star Wars *isn't science fiction.* It's Space Opera. Just because GL says "MIDICHLORIANS!" doesn't mean it suddenly becomes science fiction. Mostly because that makes absolutely no sense. If he wanted to give a scientific explination for the force, he shoulda gone through and read a few books with some psionics in them. THEN it might have STARTED to be science fiction. He'd still have to explain the FTL, however. Or he could just ignore it and say it's science fiction that is too stupid to be science fiction. I'd prefer keeping it Space Opera: Star Wars IV was the one that created the genre after all.
By , at
12:16 PM
To the fellow who said that Vader was not the Ultimate Badass, I salute you Sir.
Star Wars is Entertainment first and Foremost. (And Greedo shoots first never really bugged me, ecause I didn't really notice, I just thought he shot first anyway.)
It's not a religion. Or if it is, then follow its tenets and do not become attached to the Movies.
Besides which, Understand that there is more to a story than Direction, or bad acting. Even if it's an awfully directed, woodenly acted trash-heap, if there's a story behind it, you can imagine it in your mind how you think it should be.
Do not look for the seams, the joins, or to Vader for your salvation. Anakin/Vader was not god, And neither are you. (And Neither am I for that matter)
In closing, If you think Lucas Raped your Childhood, Go take a look at your childhood again. Maybe it's still playing by the stream, oblivious to what you say happened to it. I know Mine is.
But then again, I'm an optimist. And if SW:SE and a below-average Prequel trilogy is the worst thing that will ever happen in your life, then think yourself EXTREMELY LUCKY INDEED.
So Says the All-Seeing Englishman!
By , at
1:25 PM
Well, the acting could've been better. That's why the animated Star Wars: Clone Wars was kickass- the "actors" could express emotion. It also fleshed out some of the characters, and had some kickass lightsaber action. Are people for or against this animated transition between 2 and 3?
...after seeing Clone Wars, I always thought Windu or Grievous earned the honor of ultimate badass. The one annihulated an entire army, and the other fought off about six Jedi with five lightsabers. FIVE!....then they died pretty disappointing deaths. But it's cool. They had their moments.
Can someone explain to me what's the deal with Greedo (who is he?) shooting first? I haven't seen the latter three in so long I can't get the reference.
The excellent webcomic VG Cats also sums up the...odd happenings...in Ep.3
By , at
2:01 PM
Man, I liked Star Trek and I don't really think that it raped my childhood. Although, I still have nightmares about the Borg...Remember that one season finale where Captain Picard was captured by the Borg and turned into one of them...Sweet.
By , at
4:27 PM
I think the prequels were decent movies, so my Star Wars-filled childhood wasn't raped at all.
By , at
4:52 PM
Have none of you had a childhood touchstone? A place that you thought safe and made you feel safe being there?s Sure it's an escape ... but what entertainment isn't?
The song is entertaining because it is an exaggeration of how many people feel. I feel kinda let down by the new movies ... but that is because the passion seems dimmed in their crafting. That and there are some rather glaring plot holes. Yet I don't hold any serious animosity to George ... but I do think he needs to let someone else direct. His story telling is quite good, and his concepts hold up pretty well. But the execution seems to lack some of his earlier drive.
It was pretty obvious from the beginning that "Revenge of the Sith" was going to be horribly flawed, when Obi-Wan just sat there helplessly as his starfighter was drilled into by little robots, instead of remembering that he was a fucking JEDI MASTER and using The Force™ to push them off.
Anyone who expected anything even halfway decent out of the movie after that is simply delusional.
By , at
3:11 AM
The song is stupid, because its main conceit is that Lucas somehow makes us worse people for having made a few changes to better address his vision, and then tried to catch lightning in a bottle with 2 clearly inferior movies.
The Problem of traditionalism in fanboys is pure Death to any creative endeavour after time, because there will always be a vocal(even whiny) Minority who want everything to stay exactly the same, the very thing that the Jedi teach as "going to the dark side". Accept the transitory nature of all things, and GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!
So Says The All-Seeing Englishman!
By , at
5:40 AM
To 2 and 6/8,
Ep IV, Mos Eisley cantina, pretty much the first introduction to Han Solo; Greedo is the green bounty hunter with funnel ears who tries to take Han in for failure to successfully complete a business transaction with Mr. The Hutt. Han has a difference of opinion with Greedo, and in the original you see Greedo fiddling with his gun, but Han (the seasoned smuggler he is) smokes that bitch (ahem) and all is well. Needless to say, the new one has Greedo get off a shot - missing widely - and Han taking him down with some friendly retaliatory fire.
Anyway, the new movies weren't as spectacularly cool as the originals, how could they be? they're competing with the memories of what were formative epics for most of the fans who saw the originals. However, they were still fun jaunts into a crumbling golden age, filled with glitzy special effects and some particularly hammy (but still entertaining) acting.
Hats off to Jango's sonic charges, turned my amp up really loud for that :)
By , at
5:41 AM
"I saw the story. Yes, Ep I was a big fat kids' movie. Yes, Ep II was a little disappointing. But Ep III was a PROPER Star Wars Movie and anyone who Disagrees is WRONG!"
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
*flails around like a gothic Frankenstein*
By , at
6:54 AM
Apparently our All-Seeing Englishman has a bit of a problem with proper capitalization - but then, who doesn't these days?
As far as your comment about creators having ultimate power over their own universes - clearly you've never been published in your life. I won't bother you with how many times I have, but I've learned the hard way that once a piece of literature leaves your hands and gets to the editors, it's really not yours anymore. As soon as a work is adopted by a fan base, it becomes theirs - because it is their imagination that is used to see the images your words attempt to evoke, their hearts that swell and break with the rising and falling of your characters, and their money that gets dropped into your pocket for the privelege of reading your work.
Writing's one of those issues of balance - you must strike carefully between writing for yourself, and writing what you know the fans want. Each work that I have published is a reflection of myself - but at the same time, when I write a series, I know the fans are expecting a bit of continuity out of me in terms of character interaction and personality. Lucas chose to ignore this in favor of marketing.
Take, for instance Boba and Jango Fett.
In the original Star Wars canon, Boba's real name was Jaster Mereel - he was a ranger of some sort on a backwater world that was exiled for murdering his partner. He found the Mandalorian armor, built Slave I, and thus the cult hero was born.
However, Lucas saw that Fett action figures sold well, and figured he needed an excuse for another - and along comes Jango Fett, the "father," of Boba Fett.
It's little things like that which piss an audience off, because it ruins the immersion. Every time an author has to go back and say, "Wait, that never happened, because it's cooler like this," it jerks the audience out of the illusion, and grounds them firmly back in reality - which is a bit like a nasty hangover after a badass night of drinking. It sucks - and people who do it suck - irregardless of how famous they might be.
If you truly are a writer (and I somehow doubt it), then I wish you luck. But this attitude of yours is going to have to change if you hope to ever make it anywhere - literature is nothing apart from audience interpretation - even Shakespeare would be just another forgotten name if people weren't researching and dissecting his work - so kindly get the fuck over yourself.
Having seen the entire sextet, and having seen Star Wars, ESB, and RoTJ when they originally came out in the theaters...
I still found this song funny. But at the same time, I still watch Eps 1,2,3 (hehe), 4, 5, 6 on DVD and enjoy them for what they are.
And I think the musicians meant it to be taken as amusing.
So relax. Enjoy the song for what it is as well, an amusing one.
By , at
8:25 AM
I think it was intended to take that song with a grain of salt. It's humor. You know...not taken too seriously. All the people who subsequently blast other people after listening to this song are missing something. Just chuckle, or not, and move on with life. I didn't think it was possible to turn that song into a rant. I found it amusing, and that's all.
By , at
8:00 PM
Wow, Riovanes, you saw right through me! :)
Yes, I've never been published. I've never been edited, cut, censored, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. Mostly because I only ever really put finger to keyboard for my own amusement, And though one day I may take all my disparate keypresses, and sift them trhough a quality filter of friends and family, ready for an unsuspecting world to enjoy or endure, for now, I only really want to write my own universe, in my own way.
And I didn't know that about Boba Fett.
TASE out.
By , at
2:30 AM
Riovanes said, "In the original Star Wars canon [...]"
But that's just the problem -- the only Star Wars canon is the six movies. Lucas has given his seal of approval on a whole slew of other author's works (such as the rather inticate and well-done backstory regarding Fett), but that doesn't hold him to accepting any of that as what really happens in his SW universe. Just that he feels it's in the spirit of his "vision." It doesn't make him beholden to use any of it, or to be constrained by it (even if some of it is far better than his own stuff, frankly).
As the owner of the intellectual property, Lucas is the only one who can honestly say what is or isn't in the SW universe. Heck, he's even shown a willingness to tweak his own work (such as the Greedo/Han thing) to match his own changing sympathies.
And I'd also disagree about something becoming "theirs" when adopted by a fan base. A story does not somehow become governed by the fans, any more than faithfully watching every episode of a TV show makes you part of the cast.
By , at
7:04 AM
Meh. I just saw the third movie, and frankly, I was fully satisfied [a feeling I did NOT have after seeing Eps 1/2]. I only groaned over one idiotic move by the villains--Rule One for all villains capable of surviving the void of space should be VENTING THE DECKS whenever silly humans insist on intruding.
As for people's childhoods... I remember, during the 20 year lull, going back and watching the original Star Wars again... and going, "WTF?" See, it wasn't just that the movie's 'cutting edge' FX had been long surpassed. It was that that turned out to have been a far greater part of the movies than most fans give credit to.
The acting was crap [Ford and Fisher were still learning their craft, and Hamill, frankly, never DID manage to learn how to act--his best roles after Jedi were, um, playing himself and making fun of the fact that he had no career outside the trilogy--cf. Muppets, Jay & Silent Bob]. The script was overwrought. The directing was mediocre. Even the 'story' [the other resort of hard-core fans who want to be able to retain the 'purity' of the original series] was little more than a re-writing of Campbellian archetypes. Go back and check some of the original reviews, if you can--most of the previews likened it to Buck Rogers, and gave it little, if any shot at reclaiming the budget.
[Side-note: it was with great delight that I heard some of those same reviewers talking about how the new trilogy failed to live up to the legacy of the first trio.]
Lucas didn't change much--we did. We're no longer impressed by just special effects. We actually demand a bit of quality--because we've seen it happen. And Lucas didn't keep up with that shift, at least initially.
Ep. 3 was a decent flick. It avoided the errors of 1 & 2, and paid real homage to the original series. Frankly, Lucas ended this whole thing on a high note. More power to him.
By , at
4:01 PM
Okay, I'll keep this short. I noticed that a while back in this thread someone said something about this being the first trilogy and the first being the middle trilogy. Unless lucas did an about face from what he said in a television interview this was the first of 2 trilogies and i don't know who started this thing about there being another 3 movies but I am pretty sure it is just net gossip. Besides he would either have to borrow book storyline, fuck up a book series (cant think of which one(s) it would end up being), or do it all over a what 1-2 year time span if even that. Because between the books and the series i think the star wars universe is covered for a good long time span.
Love,
Tori
not as short as i hoped for
By , at
5:37 PM
There were nine movies planned, so those last three would be the last trilogy. And since Lucas isn't dead yet, he could change his mind and make those last three movies, and indeed 'fuck up' any books covering the time period after Return of the Jedi. Not that I care - I never read those books.
By , at
1:23 PM
wow you all talk alof of shit, like americans normaly do.. And miss out the main point; JAR JAR...
Watch the movies again, i dare you~
With that said, i'll go back playing HLDM~
Idiots... <3
By , at
2:29 PM
Um, yeah, honestly, I don't want to label myself "biggest fan" or crap, because that is itself crap. That aside, I am and have always been an insane, ravenous fan rabid for more goodies.
Still, I do think it has to be admitted that George Lucas, over the course of the last few years, has proved by way of "finally seeing his vision on the screen" is a complete raving lunatic. I love the man; hell if he told me how badly he wanted my manhood, I'd have to give it a good think first before I said "no", God willing. But come on, yes the new movies pale in comparrison, but only in comparison to what is one of the greatest movie franchises in history, and it's just not reasonable to expect this man to be able to top the originals. E2 beat E1 hands down. E3 cleary demolished E2. But to expect any if not all the prequels to beat out the entire original trilogy, aged in a wine cellat for 28 years, come off it, already. Just chill out and act like an honest to God fan, for once, and respect the story and its creator at face value if nothing more. Don't bash the bloddy bastard for writing a story that doesn't follow your private online fanfics and then not casting you as Boba Fett's father. Just sit back, enjoy the show, and then go home and watch how it all ends on the dvd boxed sets we all bought the day they came out. Wanna aruge with me, then go ahead, but please don't be a douche to people for liking what they like, alright?
O, also, that song that this whole thread was supposed to be about? Yeah, that was funny as hell. If anyone can manage to rip a copy of the file so I don't have to play it streaming then that would be awesome.
oh, and there's no "final trilogy".
There was a big story, he told the good part, and he fleshed out the beginings now. He always says now that there will never be another trilogy, and excluding television, print, and the like, the franchise canon law is done. It's alright guys; if you get bored, just print the original screenplay like I did and laugh at all the stuff that carried over, or Han being a fish. :)
Here's another insane, ravenous fan rabid for more goodies.
Heck, I can actually say I enjoyed Ep.III. Sure, as long as I'm concerned it doesn't come close to Ep. VI, but so what? I saw that movie for the first time at least 19 years ago, and so many times since that I've come to link it to, yes, my childhood in such a way that no matter how good any future movie is it still won't come even close.
I still like SW. I'll probably like it for the rest of my life and keep buying stuff as it comes out. But yes, I DO hate Jar Jar. Now that was a screwup. All the rest, I can deal with.
By , at
7:21 PM
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